The No Bullshit Sales Planner

Structure for people who hate structure.

This isn’t a fucking vision board. It’s a downloadable, editable PDF built for people who actually sell — not LinkedIn knobs posting about “crushing Q2 with gratitude.”

If your brain’s chaotic, your deals are stuck, and your to-do list looks like a toddler made it, this planner is your lifeline.

✅ Undated weekly & monthly deal tracking
✅ Pipeline gut checks so you stop bullshitting yourself
✅ Call cheat sheets (no fake rapport scripts, just get to the damn point)
✅ Daily action prompts with space for rage scribbles
✅ A mini objection Rolodex for when people say dumb shit
✅ 50+ quotes from sarcastic legends, not pastel Pinterest moms

It’s dead simple, completely customizable, and doesn’t treat you like a goddamn idiot. You can print it, scribble all over it, duplicate it, or set it on fire and re-download it later.

This is for founders, freelancers, closers, and salespeople who are tired of being force-fed hustle porn by douchebag bros who haven’t closed a deal since Clubhouse died.

Use it. Reuse it. Cuss at it. Just don’t pretend a color-coded planner is going to fix your follow-through.